The struggled time I stepped out of my shell

close up of nut shell
Photo by Right Light on Pexels.com

 

It was a cold winter afternoon. In a new place with nothing in hand but my own little baby, I was like stuck I felt. It was just a few days back we arrived in a foreign country which I was not at all familiar with.

My home was a small service apartment, unlike the ones in India, the floor was dim-lit, no other doors or even noise outside. My floor had hardly two other apartments like mine. I was not sure , what to be done, I got dressed up, as I had nothing at home. And my ultimate aim was to get some food- a new place, unknown location, blank about the locality or currency or exactly what to buy.

I got dressed up, like always,  got my kid ready, took the money and necessary items in my hand. Since it was wintertime, we had to be clad in jackets. I opened the door, looked left and right… it’s all empty… I closed the door and came and sat on the bed, which was the only other furniture I had in the room. I looked at her,  as I didn’t have any around to talk to. I kept asking my 7-month-old girl , who could barely speak.

It took me some time to realize and gather up all my energy and courage to walk out of that door. Finally, I approached the lift, went down. The next hurdle was to get the baby stroller, baby and myself out of the apartment. Since there, were few steps ( yea,  7 outside the glass door to reach the pavement) I had no option to carry the baby on the stroller on to the steps up to the pavement. I stood there, thinking. Then finally I let the baby be inside and then walked out to keep the stroller up and then came down to pick my kid.

Trust me, It was so painful to place my kid on the ice-cold floor (even though completely jacketed) and walk out. Since it was the first time for me, it literally scared the hell out of me.

Finally, we both were out and ready to walk.

Strangely, I didn’t know where the store was put up. But all I did was gather up all my courage to walk down the street. The roads were barely crowded. I kept talking to my baby, that I was scared but we need milk and mommy has no other option.

We reached the store, purchased whatever I could find, then the next was the struggle on how much money I had. Luckily I had enough to buy my things. Then happily, like I just climbed the Everest kind of accomplishment, I walked out of the store.

It was the first time, ever I escaped a panic attack.

Yeat, not forgetting- I literally had touch time to take my things inside the apartment. Like I did earlier, I took my child inside first, then the things- its all about priority right folks!!

This was indeed the first time , I managed on my own in a foreign country without anyone’s help.

The moment I entered back into my cozy space, I was so proud of my self. Even though I sound filmier to you.

 

 

 

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